I am one of those that while I have a particular racial identity, I have a different ethnic identity. I am half Chinese and half white. My mom's side is completely Chinese. However, since I was born in a small town in New England and I have lived in the United States my entire life, I have always identified with the white identity more than the Chinese one.
Over the past month, I have traveled to New Hampshire to see my dad's side of the family and also to New York to visit with my boyfriend's family who are also white. I feel comfortable around them. I know what to talk about and I know what is expected of me, because I identify with them. However, over the holiday's I spent a lot of time with my moms side of the family. I will also be going on a vacation with them in the next month that is in talks of currently. Spending time with them is what always confirms my white ethnic identity. I don't feel as comfortable around them as I do my dad's side. The culture that they grew up in is much different than my own. Different things and behaviors are expected of me and I don't feel that I understand or fit in.
Don't get me wrong, I love both sides of my family, but learning to identify with both is challenging.
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